Growing up, I'm sure that one of your more compassionate
relatives told you, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything
at all." Well, God bless him or her for that, and while that was probably the
right thing to say for the time, times have changed. No one bothers to count to
ten anymore before giving you both barrels. Total annihilation is the aim of
the political fascist who can't seem to keep his vile comments about your sincere
beliefs to himself. His colostomy bag of pent-up anger about Donald Trump or
those awful moronic conservatives runneth over.
I hasten to add that I'm not talking about our more moderate
friends who are perfectly willing to discuss issues and not personalities with
you without exploding. Rather, it's those hyper-partisan ideological crazies
who are growing more agitated with each passing day I'm referring to. You know
them. They're everywhere: at small intimate dinner parties, at large banquets,
even in church. You're just chatting with a friend about the problems at the
southern border when someone from the next table overhears your conversation.
She leans over and says, "If we didn't have a numbskull for a President,
we might not be making enemies everywhere," and then swiftly goes back to
her goulash. THAT is what's known as a drive-by
attack and it's happening with increasing frequency.
These political ninjas must all go the same school to learn
their craft much like the terrorists of the seventies from the non-aligned
countries that all went to Patrice Lumumba University in Moscow (now called the
People's Friendship University of Russia). Wherever they go, they all seem to
be saying the same thing to us conservatives...SHUT UP! True, some of us do
provoke them by talking too loudly or maybe it's our "I love America"
buttons and MAGA hats that does it, but that is our right, isn't it? Of course
it is, but to Lefties that is the red flag that riles them up so they dig in
their hooves and snort wildly as they charge towards us, horns first.
Social intercourse aint what it used to be. Times were when
people could disagree without pulling out a weapon, even if that weapon was
barbed words. We chilled, walked away or got ourselves another drink. Now one
of us gets bloodied if we dare to stand our ground. Have Americans just gotten
more aggressive, indignant and intolerant or do we just disagree on everything?
I think it's all of them. We no longer give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Our college students need 'safe spaces' while we, their parents, avoid
attending events where there could be people with widely differing views. The
only place we dare talk politics is to the TV set or to ourselves (much to the
displeasure of our spouses). I'm convinced that this self-censorship is THE
most destructive element in our society today. While I'm not advocating for a
return to the pre-PC times when we made Polish jokes or laughed at Archie
Bunker's ethnic appellations, I'm simply saying that sometimes what we don't
say can get us in more trouble than what we do say.
Case in point. You're part of a group that is discussing
something controversial. A person makes an outlandish generalization. You think
about countering it with a simple, "How do you know that, for sure?"
But, you don't. You let it pass and it's not because your wife elbowed you in
the ribs, either. You chose to avoid conflict. Your therapist would be sooo proud,
but later, on the way home in the car you say to your spouse, "I should
have said something, anything, to stop that jerk." (I forgot to mention,
that 'jerk' is your best friend, and if you can't speak truth to best friends,
than to whom can you?) I think that regret is a prohibitively high price to pay
for self-censorship. I'm willing to concede that as we get older, we tend to
choose our battles more carefully. Maybe it's because we hear the clock ticking
away the seconds of our lives louder and louder, or it could be that we've
actually realized there are more important things in life than being right all
the time. That said, we should not subordinate our principles out of fear of
conflict. There are many ways to disagree with people without a midnight trip
to the ER for myocardial infarction. Why not think of some that might work for
you? Breathe deeply.
Stephan Helgesen is a
former career U.S. diplomat who lived and worked in thirty different countries,
specializing in export promotion. He is now a political analyst and strategist
and author of nine books and over 1,000 articles on politics, the economy and
social trends. He can be reached at: stephan@stephanhelgesen.com
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